Are You Ready?

Is this the most ridiculous question anyone could possibly ask you when your expecting?!

Okay, this is our first kid.  We have two dogs, one large, one small.  One is able to pee and poop on her own on a pad in the house, she does not need to be let out for any other reason but to be outside.  A full bowl of water all day and a small bowl of food twice a day is all she needs.  The other does need to be let out occasionally, but can survive more than four to six hours at a time before she’s trying to stick her butt out the window screen.  So, does it really sound like we have the experience to take care of a human being who cannot do anything for themselves, get no sleep (people love to point this out – more on that in a second), and completely change who we are as people (not complaining about that)??

The smart-ass answer, “Oh yea, we’ve been preparing for nine month, spoken with many moms and dads, read a dozen books, and now really feel that we can have the kid today and we’ll be just fine – no sweat.”

The real answer, “NO!”  C’mon, is there anyway to be prepared?  We can read all we want, we can babysit all we want, we can even try to recall how we had to get up once a night in the middle of the night to make sure the puppy peed outside and not all over themselves.  Does that really sound like a comparison to feeding every two hours or so or any of the other scheduled/non-scheduled situations that will arise?  NO.

Now, some people are probably thinking – when they ask you that question they’re probably wondering if you have the essentials for when you bring the kid home.  I would agree, but the question is always followed by, “Well, catch up on your sleep because you’ll need it.”  Thanks.

I get it.

The other lovely interjection that people love to point out is, “Kiss your life goodbye.”  Again, pretty inappropriate.  It’s not like my wife and I didn’t plan this.  It’s not like I’m dreading having a child.  I wanted this.  I chose this option.  I immediately tell these people that I have done everything that I wanted to do up to this point in my life….AND…having a family does not mean that you can no longer “do things.”  If you ruined your bachelorhood by getting your wife/girlfriend pregnant, don’t take it out on every other guy that managed to properly handle their lives!

Ugh – sorry, it’s the morning, and I feel like Joe Pesci in a Snickers commercial.  But seriously, how inappropriate are people with the things they say and do when they find out you’re pregnant or about to have your child?  What have people said or done to you?  I’m interested in hearing other stories (funnier the better).


One thought on “Are You Ready?

  1. I am loving the fact that for first time I am happening to find a blog written by a man, who is “getting ready” for being a father, if that can be done, at all! But I am applausing you for the amazing decision you made by letting us in your world and share all that pisses you off or makes you happy, from the point of a man! For me is quite interesting, because I am just in the beginning of my pregnancy and can relate to everything you say..from the other side..But I am definitely going to keep up with your posts! Cheers to you and your wife!

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